"Honey, you can't wear that..."

    So, one of the biggest fights and laughs we have is over what attire is appropriate. We have gone through the "monochromatic phase" where everything had to have the same color in it; never mind if it was the same shade of that color. We have also gone through the "tank top phase" where he wanted to wear tank tops everyday no matter how cold it was. There has also been the "hat and gloves phase" in which he wanted to wear a sock cap and gloves EVERYWHERE we went no matter how warm it was. Each of these, for whatever reason, have always manifested at the opposite season of when it would be appropriate. Thankfully after time and many many discussions about why we can't wear the designated items out because it is the wrong weather or doesn't match we have been able to move out of each phase to something else.
    However, there is one phase we can't seem to get out of.... the infamous "rain boot phase"! This has been going for years now and seems like it will last a life time. It all started when Judah was 2 and I thought it would be cute to get him a pair of bright orange rain boot when I was at Wal-Mart one day. As soon as we got them home and he wore them the first time they became his fashion staple! He wore those hideously bright boots to the store, to our family business, to the library, running errands, to the doctor and even to church. The worst part was it seemed that he would never out grow them. Eventually he did and I thought we would be able to finally move past this phase. Over time he did seem to get over the fact that he couldn't wear them anymore and move on to wearing a variety of shoes. Then I made the biggest mistake of all...
    Just after Christmas this year we were at Target getting his sister, Hannah, a new pair of boots and she spotted pink polka dot Hello Kitty rain boots. We agreed that she could get them since she didn't relaly have any shoes to wear out in the snow that would keep her feet dry and she was thrilled. Well, it only took Judah a matter of seconds to realize that right next to the Hello Kitty boots was a pair of bright green boots with a frog's face on them. He was in heaven! He announced very loudly and with all the joy he could ever have "Look, there are boots just for me!!" In a moment of weakness we agreed to buy him a pair too and he was elated. We explained to him that they were when it rains or snows, though, and not for all the time. He said he understood. Now I am pretty sure it was just him telling us what we wanted to hear, so he could get the boots :) So, now we are back in the "Rian boot phase". Since we got them they have been worn to preschool, the doctor's office, Story Time, the grocery store, the family business, running errands and yes, even church. He has even worn them out with shorts on a couple warms days we had this spring! A few times I have tried to talk him out of them and his reply was "But, mommy, it could rain and I don't want to get my socks wet." Sometimes he is just too smart for his own good!
     In his defense he gets complimented on his boots everywhere we go and is so very proud of them. Although, they may not be the most appropriate thing for him to wear or even the most fashionable; it brings a smile to my face every time he wears them. The good thing is, we bought them with enough room to grow in so we should be set until next spring :)

How it all began...

    As we have begun this journey it seems that I am asked one question more than any other... "What made you have him tested?" I think that is the hardest question to answer. With Judah it hasn't really been one specific thing; but instead many things all lumped together. The first thing we noticed were his sensory issues, then his lack of some basic fine and gross motor skills and lastly his delays and awkwardness socially. When he was younger we wrote a lot of things off as age or 'he's such a boy"; but the older he has gotten the more his "issues" have been apparent. Unlike children with autism, Judah makes eye contact and does talk to people. It's just very one sided when he talks and he has no understanding of non verbal communication and a very hard time reading facial expressions which makes it hard for him to empathize with whoever he is talking to.

    As anyone with a child knows, you never want anything to be "wrong" with your child or for them to have to go through life with any kind of label on them. We have gone back and forth many times on if we really wanted to pursue testing and therapies for Judah for this very reason; but in the end realized it isn't about what is comfortable for us or how we feel but about what is best for our son and finding out what he needs to succeed in life. It hasn't been an easy road by any means, but what in parenting really is?! I talked to our pediatrician on multiple occasions and she kept telling me to keep an eye on it; but finally referred us for testing when he had a "melt down" in the exam room, just because we were out of his usual routine, crawled into a small space between the counter and the wall and sat crying and refusing to come out. God has blessed us with such favor in the testing process and we were placed with a great doctor for his testing and diagnosis right away. We have also been blessed with great family and friends who have been very supportive of us through this process.
    Although Judah is going to have to live life with some extra hurdles, one of the things we have found living with this syndrome is that it also brings with it some very humorous things too. For starters, he takes everything very literally which makes most conversations pretty funny and his responses to sarcasm even funnier. My favorite times with this are when  we give him a command like "go take your shoes and sweatshirt off." His reply will inevitably be something like "mom, they are flip flops and it's a hoodie." One day I he asked for a snack while we were at our family business and I told him that there was a cheese stick in the refrigerator for him. He responded with "well, there are actually 3 cheese sticks in there." He also has a hard time understanding common sayings like "We are going to run to Nana and Papaws" and has even been upset when we went out to get in the car instead of actually running to their house. The best part of all this is that he doesn't really get humor like everyone else does, so he makes up jokes that are so not funny that they make us all laugh.

    This isn't necessarily the life that I would have chosen for our family, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! Judah is a handsome, intelligent, loving boy with an infectious smile and I wouldn't change a thing about him even if I could. As we travel through this journey of living with Asperger's as a family I hope you will stop by often to share in our adventures and celebrate the life of an amazing little boy with us.